The State of Apathy

In a world where instant sexual gratification has become the norm, and most gay men follow the voices of lust and desire daily, we observe how many of us struggle to live in constant contentment.
Today, I’d like to dive into the state of consciousness called “Apathy” with you.
Sexual pleasure and sex these days are available daily. We hop on a dating app, find another man, drop our pin, and shortly after, we can experience a seemingly intimate moment of lovemaking.
The issue with that is, we are in a state of Apathy. Meaning, we don’t feel or connect with the other person and mimic a situation that’s normally the result of love and affection.
Apathy describes a state of numbness. Most people who say they feel “nothing” actually feel apathy, which is a feeling as well!
Realizing that it’s also a feeling is the first step in this self-realization process. We do have to understand that feeling empty, alone, numb, or disconnected is part of the state of Apathy.
Most men in our community even deny that they have feelings for other men and simply are on the hunt for physical satisfaction. This also means they deny themselves access to higher states of consciousness such as love, gratitude, courage, and acceptance.
Apathy is also a coping mechanism for many who fear feeling more. Men who have been wounded by their exes, for example, may choose to shut themselves down from creating authentic connections with other men instead of addressing the wounding itself.
I’m sure most of us, if not all, recognize such behaviors. We might have demonstrated them in the past, or still do at this very moment.
The roots of actions based on Apathy often lie in beliefs we have programmed into our subconscious minds (the bigger hard drive in our heads). Beliefs such as:
- “I am not worthy of true love!”
- “I don’t believe in Love anymore.”
- “I’d rather not get hurt anymore and therefore separate my emotions from my self-expression.”
- “I can’t trust other men; they all only want sex!”
- “I fear to open myself up because I have been judged by other men in the past.”
There are many more. If you recognize some or have others you’ve carried around or still do, please put them in the comments below.
Now, onto the big question: How can we transcend the state of Apathy and rise into higher states of consciousness?
First of all, we have to recognize and admit that we have been acting from a place of Apathy.
Secondly, we have to learn to forgive those who have pulled us into these beliefs and understand that it’s not their fault. Blessing them for showing us where we can work on ourselves more and wishing them to behave better in their future.
Thirdly, through that forgiveness, we take back our power. We have to use that power to forgive ourselves for numbing ourselves and then call in a new era. A new way of caring for ourselves, loving ourselves, and creating a more honest relationship with ourselves.
Fourthly, we have to get used to feeling more than just numbness. Feelings can challenge us a lot, so learning tools and practices like Yoga, Breathwork, Tantra, Meditation, Journaling, and similar are amazing to learn to sit with, accept, and, with that, let go of emotions that arise.
Remembering that emotions also stand for “energy in motion,” and in that sense, learning to understand that all feelings come and go, just like the ocean ebbs and flows.