Lust & Desire vs. Love
For most of my life, I believed that desiring things was great. I learned to own my desires, ask for what I want and attract through pridefully claiming what I came to believe I deserved.
It’s been a way of mindfully forcing things in my best interests, and that wasn’t always in the best interest of others as well.
Little over 2 years ago, a dear friend asked me if I knew the root of the word “desire”, which I had to answer with a no.
What you’re about to learn might blow your mind. I know it blew mine!
“Desire”, the word, comes from latin.
“De”, in latin, carries negativity.
“Sidus”, in latin, means “star”.
So, its literal meaning is “to feel a lack of stars”.
Also a “Sire” back in the mid-ages was someone referred to as a wise man, a king or simply an expression of respect towards someone valued and acknowledged.
Which basically means desire is another facette of our ego’s voice!
An often misinterpreted state of mind that keeps us stuck in the “I” mentality, and excludes us from the “we” consciousness.
Interesting, right?
Especially since in may observation so many life coaches, mentors and spiritual teachers are preaching to “claim and own our desires”.
Our desires keep us in a lower state of mind, heart and emotions. Lust, for example is one common faces of desire, and especially in our queer & gay communities, most men operate from, and let their behaviors be based on lust and desire.
This has been and still is leading our gay tribe into a spiral of unfulfilling sensual connections, and even worse, it dims our emotional wellbeing.
Because no matter how much or little you “get” from desire-based connections, they always leave us longing for more, instead of elevating us in a state of pure love and bliss.
One of the core-teachings of Tantra in my experience is to enter a state of holistic contentment. Becoming aware that love is always present, we are always okey and supported, and that pleasure doesn’t only vibrate from our genitals.
I observe how many gay men imitate a feeling of love by allowing themselves to get intimate with strangers. We imitate a sense of connection and a feeling of trust by overriding our minds with the belief that sex and love are two different things.
Yet I want to remind us all, that sex is in fact a result of love at its core.
Out of love the wish to be closer to the other grows. Flipping that around is the doing of desiring something that’s not there and creating a substitute for it.
We don’t need to be in longterm monogamous relationships only in my opinion. Yet to establish a sense of trust, kindness, purity and a sensation of love for the self and the other, is what makes all the difference.
I even caught myself saying to guys I spend some time with the sentence “I feel love for you”. And as love is in fact an emotional response to the energy of connection, I invite you to let the feeling of love become the compass, and the filter for who you allow into your sacred sensual and sexual spaces.
With Love,
Mo
